Needing College Resources

Hello all, I am needed some references on any good material that is for the collegiate student. If you know of any let me know. Thanks.

Thoughts of Transititon

I must admit my last post was a bit emo, but it was where my heart was for the past months. I will state that this God just does not allow us to stay at one place to long, at least this my experience. This past Sunday is one of those moments, the message was on our true identity that comes from God.

The point that stood the most to me was that the only image we ought to be concern with is becoming the image of the creator, for it is His image we are design to be like. Though I am still perplex why is so hard to be in His image? I understand for a theological standpoint that sin plays a major role in our defiance of being in His image. Question... if we are a new creation in His son, why do many of us struggle with living as this new creation?

Most God-fearing people read the bible, pray, serve and worship with what they got to give the Lord of Hosts, but still fight desperately to not be the old man. Is it simple so we can fully understand his grace? Or is it much simpler than that. Meaning does God just want us to set our mind each and every day to live in His image. To write this is sounds so simple, but the sense of the old man still lurks within my mind, how does one eradicated it? Maybe for many of us that deal with this it is our thorn in our flesh.

I know I am going to make each day a day that I consciencely choose to become more like Christ so that I am not consumed with how I could be from a past of destruction. I must admit it is odd for a person that has been educated in theology and been a believer for over 15 yrs, to admit this struggle, but I assume that I am not the only one that is a minister that struggles with this, and beyond that most laypersons as well. I pray that God speaks to your heart and restores within you a spirit of strength not timidity.

I am alive in Christ Jesus our Lord!!!!

Thoughts Made Bare

Baring ones innermost thoughts is something people just do not do for just any cause. This especially true of me at least. The issues that I have and deal with on a daily basis I do not broadcast for all to hear or comment about. I think for the simple reason I am afraid of what others might really think of me after they see the muck and mire I walk through each day. I long to connect with others that understand the pain that certain triggers or shall I say sayings from people, from the media, and from songs that invoke a ringing of a chime in my mind. This chiming is general not so quiet it usually loud and long bringing me to a point of frustration or a state of melancholy.

Others in this vast world face various issues that bring to a place of flight or fight. Preferring to take the road of least resistance I run more than I face. The comical aspect of running you never run away from yourself, so if that is true you never run away from the issues that you need to deal with so that your experience in this life can be enriched and be to some level of fulfilling. By now you may be wondering are not a professing believer in Christ Jesus? My answer is Yes! This fact does not take away pain that is deeply seeded within my existence. I am not just rambling for the sake of it, these thoughts are connected to a reoccurring theme, if you will, that is presenting itself to me for myself to change the past from becoming the future.

Here is my heart bare...

The pain is real, it aches to my deepest core but the words are loss in mix of turmoil. I know nothing of having a Father. I know who my father is, but have no knowing of what a Father is or even looks like. This lack of knowing affects my view of God the Father. It taints a correct correlation of who God the Father is and should be in my life. With that said, let me move to why my soul aches to share... There is a song entitled, "Cats in the Cradle and the Sliver Spoon". Written some 30 years ago. I have probably heard this song more times than I can remember. When I was 17ish I remember going to a midweek bible study at my church in Fontana, where the Pastor was speaking of the role of the father in the family. He played that song by Harry Chapin. At that moment I made the connection of what that song really meant. I remember praying that I did not want to become like my own father, due to that song was true in my relation to my father. Not that he was away on business trips, it was simply once I became older he just did not know how to connect, so he disconnected. Not to say either we did not speak, the relation was this: my father = parent + myself = son/child = guardian relation. What I mean the relationship was despondent to a relation of him being caretaker and not much else. When there was a need, he try to meet it, and when there was not a need there was a disconnect. I thought this was normal for all kids to have with their fathers. As I grew older the further our relationship grew apart. I must state my upbirnging was not always so drab, it had moments of sunshine.

This issue that I face is that I am afraid of becoming like my father. Just like the song states the son becomes like the father in many ways, in the same likeness I have become like my father. And this truth... leaves me asking why have I. Is it because I must endure the pain to break this link in this families history? Is it due to my lack of understanding of God's grace? Is it due I am weaker than I am strong? This fact keeps me interlocked into not pursuing a relationship that would eventually lead to a marriage then a family. Please do not misunderstand me I do not place blame on my father for my own actions, his actions has caused me to endeavor this plight. I am the only one that can surrender this course (my will) unto the the Almighty Father to steer me onto the right course.

It seems that when the times I have heard this song that has invoke strong feelings it has been at times when my dad and I have been in the same vicinity. In fact, it came on earlier this week when he and myself were fixing a problem I had with the radio in my car. It just got me to think am I truly reversing the issue that has plagued me. I wish I could answer with a solemn yes, but the truth is the closer I get to the point of breaking free I slip further back. Well that is at least how it feels. I pray for God's guidance to help me weave through the mire to understand what actions I must take to overcome my fear.

I long to be a Godly husband, a Godly father, a Godly man but I wonder is there a chance that I will become all that is expected of me.

This is my heart, bare, vulunerable, scared, but hopeful it will end with me.

Well if you have never heard the this song here is a link to see Harry Chapin play it live and give the reason in shy he wrote it. I echo his last remarks.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jLzMw5hKoVk

Worthy or Not Worthy

Well folks, I have just read a article about an issue that hits home for me. The article discusses the issue of Youth Ministers asked to be paid for Part-time wage and wanted to work full time. This article was featured in the Group Youth Ministry Magazine the Sept/Oct 2007 issue. Why does this topic tingle my fancy if interest, well I am glad you have ask.

I am served in a couple of Youth Ministry positions. Each time they were a Part-time gig, both also had the term intern slap to the title. I will state that each time they were my decision to take the position due to that I needed the training. I will humbly say that I learned a great deal from these positions. I will ever be grateful to these local Churches giving me the chance to minister and learn do's and dont's. But I will chat about those at another time.

My issue is this, how can any local church that claims to have concern or a communicated passion in discipling youth in their church and community and expect a person to do this on a part-time basis? Let me ask another question, does a Lead Pastor work just part-time? Does anyone person that is a minister of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God? As a dear Professor of my would say, are you listening to me, really what he meant was, WAKE UP JERKS!!! Of course any person that is a minister such as a pastor to a layperson their work is not a part-time gig. So why even state we work full-time vs. part-time?

The reason is simple, we want to find worth or significance in what we do. If we find worth from others in what we do, we want some sort of compensation for it. There is nothing wrong with this thinking. It is like a person that works on a construction site and works 12 long hours in the blistering sun framing a building, running electrical, and even put up some drywall. Well you can see this person has the talent in various areas: framing, electrical, drywall hanging. OK, then at the end of this long day this person has a strong assumption that his boss will see his worth and pay him accordingly, then the boss comes over and admires the person's work. Then says, "Thank you for your work it worthy of a great pay... but all I can give you is $25 for the days work." What is this boss thinking 25 bucks for 12 hours of hard work for a person that has value of greater value then the compensation that was given. Is this not what we the Church do to our Pastors, and especially our Youth ministers?

It is a sad shame that we tell people that they are worthy of a position and they have proven themselves with impeccable talents that ought to be compensated for, but there is nothing that is given. I believe that is not truly about the money, though a fair wage is due, it is about worth. Worth is what something that all mankind seek in various forms. In the case of a Pastor of Youth or a Pastor of a local church, what they are seeking is that what they give is received with appreciation and a manner of worth is attached to it. You might be asking is this a correct way of viewing this issue? God seeks those that will praise Him for He is worthy of all praise. Are you saying... no we are not God, but we long for worth or significance. I believe it is built into our innate being of life. It is not a sin to want to have worth, what is the sin is the attitude that we attach to the worth we seek.

I am been frustrated, resentful, bitter, and angry many times due to not being shown enough of appreciation of the work that I was doing. I know it is God who gives and supplies all what I need, but the supply comes in the form of the giving of those that we serve. That is if that is deal that has been made. Basically, if a local congregation is willing to pay for a person to be fully committed to that position they ought to provide for the needs of the person in full. This means simply there ought to be open communication between both parties in what the Pastor needs to be able to have the economics to live comfortably. My heart goes out to all Youth Pastors that get shafted in this lose of communication, but this is an issue for Lead Pastors as well. So, the Church needs to gets tush of the couch reach into their deep pockets of fiances, resources, and willing to meet the needs of their Pastors so they can live out their calling.

I think the article I read was good, but the author had a axe to grind with this issue. Encouraging to Youth Ministers, but harsh to local churches. Some really good ideas of cutting costs and helping those that have no idea to build a budget for the church to see how in depth it takes to aide a youth ministry.

In all we do as ministers lets us exercise godliness in all matters of life, especially us young ministers.

I Will Never Understand

I must say that people amaze me each and every day. I currently work in a quick service restaurant name to be left unnamed. I encounter people on a daily basis that are complete clueless in what they want to order to eat. I am not a rocket scientist but when you go to a place to eat, you should have a idea of what you want to eat, not just show up and spend a half hour deciding over a combo #1 or a combo #2 because you are unsure of the calorie count of the two meals. If you are like this person get a clue, order something and shut it!!!! Sorry if that seems harsh, but it is the truth anybody that has work in this industry know s what I am talking about, there are many more instances that can be discussed, but I will not bring anymore hateful memories, though there is one incident I must speak on... This next incident speaks of how awkward of a position we place others.

The story goes as this. I was working one night it was about 8:45 to 9 pm, the place of my employment gets a phone call asking, the question that drives all night employees crazy, what time to you close. The person that ask that question also ask if I was working, after the manager confirmed that I was indeed working, the manger showed me the name on the caller id. I look at the name did not compute right away. Then when I had a moment to think I remember it was a Pastor from the local area. The manger told me it must have been the Pastors wife calling. I thought sweet deal i have seen the Pastor and his wife for some time. about a half hour passes. She shows not with her husband, but with two of her girlfriends. I initially did not think much of it, due the fact we were flat hopping that night at work(we were heck of busy). I got a moment to speak with the Pastor's wife briefly, during the conversation she leaned closer to me to state that one of the young ladies that were with her saw my profile on one of the dating websites. And this young lady wanted to know if I was still in the process of dating. Seems not to be a big deal, right?

Well, it is for several reasons, one being that from my perspective that environment to introduce one to another for a dating experience is not kosher. The second, is why did not this girl write to me on that website, never got a message. Third, is showed me that this young lady was desperate for a date, or even a wham bam thank you mam relationship like it was 1999 when the world was suppose to end. Another fact that ought to be pointed out was that they waited in the restaurant for about a half hour to wait to talk to me, but like I stated we were busy, I just could not get a away. Even when I had a brief moment I used it to relieve my self and gather my thoughts on what I would say. As soon as I was about to speak with them I was needed in the drive-thru. Then shortly after that they left.


My issue is not entirely on them coming into the place where I work, though that did seem to corner me to make some kind of decision on the spot. It is like trapping a wild tiger in a corner, all he is trying to do is get away, but when he senses his life in jeopardy h will attack. I not saying I was going to attack them in a verbal assault. But my words probably would not be a soft as they possibly could be. Then I had another dilemma I have a particular interest in the women I seek for a relationship. I prefer women of differing ethnicity. I am not saying their are not women of my own ethnicity that I would not mind dating, but I have my own preference. So my question how do you tell a young lady that is exciting in meeting you that you are not interested due to your preferences. The reason I state this is that most women want truth but when it is told to them they freak out and say that us men are not sensitive to their needs.


Well I have this experience to share and hear responses like this or just comments about your thoughts on this situation.