I have not gone dominant in espousing on some thought(s). The latest thoughts have gone from one idea to the next than to the next than back to the beginning.

What I am grazing through is conversion. When does it start, what is it called, does it ever stop, when does one know fully this in when I was converted. Or is it truly how we evangelicals have explained it to be the accurate way of viewing conversion. There is no secret to those that know me that I am about raising disciples of Christ , not just some people that seem to be barely hanging on to a fire breaching policy that they hope that can be redeemed at the moment of being place six feet under ground. So the initial question was raised when does one become a disciple, well the jury is out on this still, but in much deliberation about what it means to be a disciple and the cost, hopefully soon they will bring in a verdict. Maybe without any unreasonable doubt they are correct. But any who, conversion is tied into one being disciple, somewhere in this process.

Then comes the questions of Lordship and Savior, which is the correct order of understanding how a person is converted. Is it simply a simple prayer that anyone can pray on their death bed to a five year old praying it and one day grows into understanding Christ's Lordship? I understand that we all learn and grow in stages, if this is so then why does the evangelical circles place an emphasis on a central point of a conversion that leads to other stages, or is it that this stage is dressed in a new array? For me this means that there is a there was and now there is, meaning simply old then, new now. But this thought seems to go against what Christ taught. Even Paul states the new creation, but states that God is perfecting us through Christ. So which is it, is it now or coming into being? Or is it both and? Well these are my thoughts of lately, if you have any good insightful thoughts please share, I would love be stretch more than I am.

Memories

Memories are like a fine wine that is appreciated at its full age or the fullness of its flavor. My memories parallel such a thought. Then there are those that are so pleasant they are more like having to eat liver and onions, even when you are told of this travesty your stomach starts to swirl in anticipation of a night of bowing before the porcelain throne. Maybe that is stretch but I hope you get the gist. The reason I am thinking about past memories is that this month of November has always been a month of found memories. Such as when I was a boy maybe about 8 or so, my uncle's and their friends would get together and play football on Thanksgiving day. I remember going to the park where they played for several years. It was a special time for it was me and my grandfather who would take me, and we would sometimes bring Brandy (granddad's golden retriever). This particular year I remember be allowed to play with my uncle's and their friends, I must note that it was not two hand touch. So there I was 8 or so playing football with 20 year olds, I thought I just made it to the big times, I tell you what. I got run a few plays before the sideline me, but what a memory. Not to mention the feasts at Thanksgiving at my grandma's house.

There are others that stand out to me, I remember when my aunt and me did not talk , for almost year and half or so, for us that is like an eternity. My aunt and myself have been close my whole life, she is only about 10 years older than me, so our relationship is more like a distant younger brother to an older sister. But I remember coming over to her and my uncle's house for Thanksgiving after we have talk on the phone to see if I would be allowed over. You might being saying what happen, well I was not a real grateful person back then. I thought everyone one owed because of my childhood. I took it out on my dear aunt and uncle, for they both were there to support me and help me, not be a Crux. I wanted crutches. Nevertheless, I was ashamed of by actions I pulled away of disappointed, but that day God showed me what grace is. I try to apologize, when I tried to utter those words my aunt said no need. It was in her voice I have forgiven you, likewise with my uncle. What a Thanksgiving memory.

Then there many others that held under strict lock and key, but these moments that turned into memories have formed me into who I am today. What a thought of time past and the future to unravel and the present to live within.

Raw

Raw frustration ought to fuel our passions and desires to drive us to better ourselves and those to whom we ministered to. The reason I state this is quite simple I am frustrated with ministries that cultivate a sense of do's and dont's in their ministries. Do and Dont's (law) are to be guides in this life. From the pages of scripture speaks that the law is not the ends, they are means to an end of transformation to become holy beings that are in direct image of God. The Apostle Paul points this fact out repeatedly about the law does not provide grace, mercy or transformation. If we as ministers are to convey this truth and echo Jesus in being relational why then do we build ourselves standards that God does not even hold us to?

This question is a loaded question and caution is given to where and how it is unloaded. I am intending to ask simply why is hard to live a transformed life and require rules in how that life is transformed? For instance, in youth ministry when a youth misses due to various reasons, but is a devout member and serves with a servants heart, but is question what is wrong, are you doing okay... meaning have you fallen from grace. This is applicable to even those that are not so devout. These statements comes from Pastors, Leaders, Lay people, and peers at all levels within the church. But Why? At times due to our culture of complacent activity within the church it is warranted for rebuke and reproof. I understand this for I have done it, as reflection upon this topic I have abused my freedom. What is the point of discussing this issue, does this absurd of freedom in the Spirit to question others done in love? Or is it done because we have become an institution of do's and dont's? This question has been raised within me for some time, and when I see and hear followers of Christ question what is the importance of fellowship of the brethren due to overcontroling concerns, it saddens my heart. I do not know how to answer this dilemma, but to offer hope that Jesus wants first a transformed heart then the behavior will follow. But then at times followers are do just that are being questioned unreasonably for the sake of the institution.

What are we a institution believers or a living, relational, transforming body of believers?

Are you going to be a Blessing?

To bless someone is not just merely give away something or your time. To bless someone is to give to them what you have been given in abundance. Sometimes is our fiances, it is our time, it is our talent, and etc. Whatever the case to be a blessing unto a person brings tension in our minds, well I know within me, what is the return on this investment of my resources to be a blessing. If we are honest we tend to camp in this thought more times than we say we do. I am not here to beat us over the head about what we should do or not do, but my recent experiences in receiving a blessing from several people makes me stop and ask... how much are we to give away to bless others despite the inconvenience it brings to me? After reading various meanings of the word bless in the Hebrew and the Greek, I have come to a conclusion if we are not be a blessing of grace, a blessing of our time, being a blessing of our resources we fall short of what God has done for us.

Think of the time when Christ fed the four thousand and five thousand, amazing that it all came from a few fish and few loaves of food to feed so many. Why did Christ bless those in such a manner? Was is it show them His capability given to Him from the Father? Or was it something else? Most people would point out that the disciples came to him and ask how are we going to feed these people that having been following Jesus and the disciples. What was Jesus' retort to them for trying to send the people away He told them to feed them. The disciples replied all we have is not enough to feed these thousands of men not including women and their children. This amazes me, what happens next, Christ says bring what you have to me. When he received the little amount of food from His disciples, He blessed the food - He gave thanks for what has been provided by God. Then he told His disciples to pass it out. They did and at the end they had left overs that filled 12 baskets.

Great story Mike, so what? The so what is we bring what we have to help others and praise God for it and see God increase the provision for the need that needs to be met. Jesus was showing us a lot in this situation, the one thing that I have gleaned from it is God wants to and will provide, all we have to do is give what we have, and for each of us it is different, but the message is still the same. In Proverbs it is says in the 11th chapter...

'One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want. Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.' (vv. 24-25)

I try my best to live in such manner but fall ever so short of doing it, I was reminded greatly about this principle this past couple of weeks. Lets give freely as we receive freely the gift of grace that is within Christ our Lord.

Moments are a precious commodity these days, I suppose if you in a metropolitan region. Where life moves at the speed of light. Why talk about moments, because we all have them they are either great moments in time or horrible ones. Several thoughts arise from idea of a moment, what is a moment? How does it work? Are they frozen in time or space? Are they non-existent anymore except from the moments that are etched into our brain? The limit of questions is limitless in regards to moments. But why is this so? Why are we humans so enthralled with living within the moment, capturing the moment or trying to relive a moment that has passed?

To be honest I only understand time in the manner of the time I am in now, right here typing this blog, the time that was at the beginning of this blog is now gone, but I am still typing. This is a surreal thought for time keeps moving, but our mind can pull up a data base of fragment pieces of time and replay them so we are not lost in the present moment. Boy this sounds cumbersome to think in such a way.

I believe that God is the originator of time and the existence of moments. But wants astounds me more is that how can truly our minds capture a moment in time, process it, evaluate it, store it in a proper context (hopefully) and recall it like a motion picture. For me to explain this better is like how old fashion cartoons were drawn, and still are to this day. Well the t.v. motion cartoons, where they would draw frame by frame to give an illusion of time elapsing with what was drawn. Cause if you were to see each individual frame set next to each other and seen in order you could possibly see how the characters and scenery moves. But once they are layered on top of each other then moved in a rapid order you then see those frames become a fluid action like that of real time. Please forgive me if I have not represented this art form well, it is how I understand as of today.

If moments go by, and are lost at times, but within our mind we can recover them does time truly keep moving without stopping? Or is it that we are living within finite world that the realm of progressing within time and digressing time is not available in our current state. If this has perplexed you, good it should. The only rational explanation for this occurrences is that there is a high force that has limited our need of time. This entity has placed moments to stop or start over again for a reason beyond our human supreme understanding. Once again God the creator of substance created a world where time has limits so that His creation would see His great power and see Him as worthy of high praise for creating such a plane of moments that are captured within the human mind, but never again able to be relived in that particular moment. How great is the God of this universe.

There might be another way of understanding the issue of time and why it is limited to moments that once were and another has taken its place, right now this how I understand it.

List of Want to Do’s in my Life

1. Live a fulfilled life for the Kingdom of God
2. Marry and raise a Family
3. Pastor College Students
4. Plant House Churches near or at College Campuses
5. Open a Coffee House Near a College - Develop My Cooking Skills
6. Achieve a Master’s and Doctorate degrees
7. Become a College Professor for Discipleship
8. Drive a Drag Strip Top Fuel or Funny Car
9. Sky Dive
10. Bunge Jump
11. Rebuild a Few cars
12. Build my own Chopper - Motorcycle
13. Read many books – Theology –Practical – Novel – Biographies
14. Work on a Res. Life staff (again)
15. Travel
16. Build an add on to a house to house those that need a place to live
17. Go Camping More
18. Off road fun toys
19. On water fun toys
20. Go to Amusement Parks throughout the world

What are you going to do?

Imagine that you were at the edge of of cliff called life. There are obvious four distinct areas you notice as you stand at this edge. Your body is tense in anticipation, your mind is throbbing, your heart is about to explode due to the amount of stress you are feeling. You try to contemplate why and how you have gotten here.

But that does not seem as pressing as wondering why below you is a eternal fall off from the cliff into a black abyss. Viewing such a sight sends shivers from your hairs ends to the tips of your extremities. You know whatever is far down there is a place of pain, torment, suffering, and unrest.

Then you notice that in front of you is a picture of something that has a translucent appearance, this picture baffles you cause you think it is another cliff not to far away. But then you think it might just be the open sky just a bit murky, but whatever you think it is you wish the picture would become clear with such clarity that will tell you which way you ought to take at this place of decision.

At the moment that you start to sense a bit of clarity of the distance of uncertainty you feel with certainty what lies behind you. You peer back and see that its your past of joys, hurts, laughs, tears, anger, envy, people you hate - you love, and even a sense of familiarity. Your past is calling come back to your life of strife, but of what is known to you. For here you can reason within your known knowledge and live as you know currently without risk of losing life.

The vast sky that is deepen with a rich color that is indescribable and that contains a bright light that does not scorch your skin, but gives warmth and rejuvenation to your soul. You look upwards to try to attain insight of where this overwhelming sensation is coming from. As you peer all you see is a bright sun that is restoring your faith, your joy, and your love. You are perplexed at this experience it is nothing you have ever experienced. You are wondering how can one continue to have this experience every second, every minute, every hour and day.

You realize with all of these four situations presented to you, there is a question being ask: What are you going to do? End this life by diving into a life suffering abyss, stay in a place of certainty. Or begin to trust a experience that brings life into focus in restoring the soul so you can take a step into the unknown and see that unclear picture come into focus. What a point on a cliff to ponder such thoughts, but still "What are you going to do?"

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?